The Chi, the sling shot and other stories about Christmas presents

hotstone1And the present was ‘four hours chi treatment’. No idea what was the ‘chi’ but my best friend ‘Googly’ solved the mystery just in a few seconds. Typed ‘chi’ and the result came up on the screen: Chi (uppercase Χ, lowercase χ; Greek: Χι [xiː]) is the 22nd letter of the Greek alphabet, pronounced as [kai] in English. “Here we are!” thought “there is something Greek to it”. Looking a little bit further down the screen, I saw more information about chi massage: “Chi, Yin, Yang, and the Five Elements are the basic of Chi Massage metaphysical theories. Chi, is also known as Qi, Ki, Bio-Energy or Life Force Energy. It is the reason for everything to exist. Chi presence in living things determines wholesomeness, whilst Chi presence in materials determines the state of dynamics. In practice, balancing the Yin and Yang in the body is Chi Massage’s ultimate objective” Quite satisfied from what I read and ready to consumate the present as soon as possible, I booked a four hours ‘chi experience’ at the newest cool place Shangri La Hotel. The receptionist was a Chinese girl speaking Chinese with English accent or the other way around, not much difference in respect of my comprehension of what she was saying to me. My only thought was that a true Dalai Lama experience was imminent. The Chinese girl guided me to a small room which everything was compact like the concept ‘buy two in one’. There was a Jacuzzi and four to five separated small cubicles, where in each one somebody could have different experiences such as rainforest , tropical rain, ice rain, hamam, steam room..etc, and in the middle of all these ‘experiences’ one chaise longue and a cup of tea, clear indication that these experiences are quite exclusive for only one person . After using all of them at once, I concluded that the central idea was water from cold to hot and the other way around, nothing more nothing less.
boy-with-a-sling-shotA quarter of an hour later another look alike Chinese girl, named Siti, invited me to another room for the main ‘chi’ experience treatment. She gave me a small packet and asked me to change my clothes wearing the ‘thing’ was in it. She smiled at me and closed the door behind her, leaving me alone to change. Looking at the content of the packet the single look alike, a thought came to my mind ‘hey, hey Johnny! where are you? the ultimate sex ‘pistol ‘- a plastic made G-string which could be a sling shot which boys use to throw stones. I assure you the character of Mr. Bean would being pale in comparison to Penelope’s effort to wear the sling and stay in the right place where it is made to be. The amusement of trying to put on the elastic band in the right place, after a while had been converted to an agony. Who knows how long I was in this room trying to fit this G-string and I heard the Chinese girl’s voice “are you alright ma’am, is everything ok ma’am?” . Her voice made me more trembling and thinking how embarrassing is, Siti to see the black small leaf alike to cover a part of my thigh and not the most crucial part of my body. It seemed to me that a century passed, until I managed to adjust the leaf where it belongs to from the Eve’s dates. Proud of my achievement I called Siti to come and start the Chi… She explained that there will be a treatment with special oils which suits the metal element on me. Apparently I was metal after the results of a multiple choice test I filled previously.And at least for a half an hour I have been feeling so ‘metal’ until Siti told me “maybe tomorrow you have a different taste about colours etc. and then you will be a wood and you shall need different treatment!!” I lied down on the bed and she informed me that she is going to use the ‘sounding ball’, according to me the ‘deafness ball’ to bring the positive energy in my body perhaps by isolating me from the outside sounds. Minutes later, she was walking on top of my body. In the time span of four hours I had a range of massages with her hands, feet, hot stones, showering in a bath tub and sounding balls everywhere…
Four hours later I was feeling like an anarchist in the region of Exarhia, Athens, beaten up by the Greek ‘batsous’ police forces.
Still thinking, having a new bicycle would be a better idea to start the New Year….

23 thoughts on “The Chi, the sling shot and other stories about Christmas presents

  1. Σοφία την επομένη φορά που θα βγάλουν wood και θα θέλω άλλη θεραπεία για το ξύλινο στοιχείο μέσα μου😉
    Kαλή χρονιά και σε σένα

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